Jokes -Christmas Jokes

Christmas Songs for Shrinks

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality: We Three Queens Disoriented Are. Narcissism: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing About Me! Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas. Paranoia: Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me. Mania: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and La...view more

Twas the night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies, Air defences were up, with electronic eyes. Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds, As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads. Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube, Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube, And E...view more

Christmas Treats

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk th...view more

Twas The Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse. The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head. Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while Upstairs the family continued to snore. And I in my...view more

Christmas Letter

Christmas Letter Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married, Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along...view more

What To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like

What To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like Top Ten Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like 10. Hey! There's a gift! 9. Well, well, well ... 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. ...view more

Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me Manic --- Deck the Halls an...view more







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