Jokes
The number twelve goes to a bar
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "You're under 18," replies the barman....view more
Who can say this sentence?
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "Tha...view more
Installing a Carpet
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself...view more
Dog Property Rules
1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If ...view more
Sounds of the Wild
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wid...view more
Uncovering a scam
The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security. ...view more
Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's no...view more
Popular Jokes
A bodybuilder picks up a woman
A bodybuilder picks up a woman at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the
The girl might become pregnant
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl mi
A high school senior was inspecting Harv
A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hopedto attend the following autumn
A Modest Essay
In order for the admissions staff of our college to get to know you,the applicant, better,we ask tha
A school teacher injured his back and ha
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Boy was milking his cow
Asmall farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrif