Jokes

  • Animal Sounds

    A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does…

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  • An Elephant Never Forgets

    A man recently bought a bull elephant for 50 grand. He decided to make big bucks out of the elephant. He trained the elephant not to…

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  • A Cat's Diary

    DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat…

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  • Trying To Fly

    Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his…

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  • The Blonde And The Cute Sheep

    Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.A few days later,…

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  • Duck walks into a feed

    A duck walks into a feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''The clerk tells him, ''No, we don't have a market for it it…

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  • 3 Dogs

    A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she…

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  • Kangaroo Fence

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He…

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  • Looking to buy a frog?

    A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The…

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  • Hit a sparrow

    A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still…

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  • The Talking Dog

    A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport,"…

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  • The Pessimist

    Friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found…

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  • On The Run From A Bear

    Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.The bear…

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  • Anthill Golfing

    Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave…

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  • Thirty-thousand Cockroaches

    A housewife called up a pet store and said, "Send me thirty-thousand cockroaches at once.""What in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?" asked…

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Recent Funny Jokes

  • A Dog's Life

    A Dog's Life

    An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and…

  • Bullfight Buffer

    Bullfight Buffer

    A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day.…

  • Black And Brown

    Black And Brown

    Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?A: A Doberman pinscher.

  • Blondog

    Blondog

    Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?From chasing parked cars!

  • Birdman

    Birdman

    Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell…

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